PLAY IT SOFT

Perhaps the most conservative of swinging styles is soft-swinging where couples only have sex between themselves but in front of others who are doing the same. There is usually no contact between the couples although sometimes, there may be some caressing but only if it is discussed and agreed prior to proceedings.

It’s a great way to ease into swinging especially when it is just with another couple who are not pushy. Also, small groups tend to be less intimidating. One advantage of this is that you can get to explore both your exhibitionist and voyeuristic side. Nonetheless, there are many swingers who don’t really consider this as the real deal. But you have to begin somewhere don’t you?

Moreover, it gives you the opportunity to measure your tolerance levels and digest your thoughts of the experience before you decide if it is really something for you.

If I recall my first swinging experience with another couple, it was a soft-swing that turned ‘hard’.

The couple were a little younger than us, unmarried but about to tie the knot. So they came over, got through the formalities and we began messing about between ourselves. They were close by but midway through it, my significant other noticed that someone else was stroking his tool because he suddenly realised that I had both my hands in his view. We turned to see that this other girl, let’s call her Angie shall we, was obviously attracted to it.

When her fiancé – let’s call him Gerard – saw it, he was clearly not amused. It didn’t help matters when she got up and took my significant other into her mouth. That was it. He pulled her away and made up some stupid excuse that they had to leave. It was awkward but clearly a sign that they had not drawn up their boundaries before-hand.

So talk is the key, before and after each experience. Never let any emotions or thoughts brew silently without discussing them with your partner. In swinging, it is not just about you but your partner as well. No one should be forced into it, period.

Take heed that the more open you are with each other, they more you know where each other stands. Issues of jealousy and other natural emotions should not be ignored unless you want it to crop up later and destroy your relationship. It can and it will!

If a solid foundation to a swinging lifestyle, lined with mutual trust and respect is present, you will have a better chance of tapping on its benefits to your relationship.

So there you have it, a broad outline of the different styles of swinging, which allow for different levels of sexual exposure. Sometimes if you are lucky, as I have been, you will forge close friendships because you somehow find yourselves in the same-boat scenario. Without a doubt, you will probably also meet your fair share of weirdos but hey, we all have colleagues who are weirdos too right?

You start with soft-swinging and if you stick with a group, it can - with openness - develop further. From experience, the most fun groups tend to be the older ones, more experienced ones, not the overly enthusiastic young floozies or ego-riddled studs who think it is all about performance. It’s not.

Swinging is about fun, adventure and enjoying new experiences with your partner. But it can also be for some, a very powerful tool to bring couples’ closeness and intimacy to a higher level altogether. It has certainly done so for me and my significant other.

Missus Singapore out!