EVEN PERFECT BODIES NEED HELP

My girlfriend Linda is a fitness instructor and has a body that is hard all over as it is toned. I've often commented how her body seems chiseled to perfection. But of course if you work out all day, I'm sure it will come to everyone.

But seriously she has a body to die for. The best part is that she is in her early 40s and can put many young women in their 20s to shame. Unfortunately for you guys out there, she is gay.

I suppose more accurately, she is a bisexual. The reason is because she was heterosexual when she was younger (I know since she was often my partner in crime for painting the town read - oh how I miss those wild 80s).

She has had more than a few boyfriends since and in fact for one of them, wedding bells were starting to sound until by mutual consent, they broke it off.

By her own admission, she says that she could be considered a lazy lover, which I found totally surprising. A body like that and you'll think she will be doing sexual gymnastics 24/7. She told me that she really sucked in bed. Well don't we all suck in bed. But seriously, she claims to be a little frigid when it comes to men. With women, she says she has no problem.

When we met during Christmas last year, she asked if I could show her how to please a man! Moi? She was then getting a little bored with relationships with women and wanted to revisit with her heterosexuality. And here I was hoping I could run my fingers over her hard body! LOL!

Well I agreed to do what I could but gave her no promises. She called yesterday to remind me of our arrangement and said she had a male subject in mind. I'm still figuring out how to go about it. Should I have a ruler in hand? Should I be present while they do it? Or should I just sit them down and explain to them the wonders of sexual pleasure. Hey, after all I'm still a student of the sexual arts.

Doing it is one thing but physically teaching someone else is not exactly bread and butter, even for a bitch like me! It's become so instinctive for me - you know, like making patterns with your fingers using a rubber-band. You can show it but when it is on someone else's hands, it gets tricky.

But nonetheless, for the sake of good sex, Missus Singapore will step forward and face up to the challenge. Who knows I may just have a potential business idea in the burner.

This is again another lesson in reality for me because nothing is as it appears. I suddenly don't feel so bad that my body ain't as hard and toned as I always wanted it to be.

Missus Singapore out!