SHARING FANTASIES

Whenever I fantasise, the sky is no limit. While I enjoy being turned on by a vast amount of thoughts, I don't confine myself to heterosexual activities only.

There are times, I admit, when I fantasize about other women performing oral sex on me or me on them. And I believe that it's perfectly normal. And I share them with my significant other without hesitation. He does likewise and such openness has definitely contributed to us being happy together for more than 20 years.

A friend was telling me the other day how she had a dream about an African American woman doing a 69 with her. She also said that when she woke up, she was extremely wet and decided to get herself off. But thereafter, she felt total guilt. I asked her why and she said that it was not right.  That was it.

She had always found an attraction to women of African origin but admitted that she always kept it in her thoughts. But over the years, it had begun to eat into her and wanted very much to share it with her husband of 10 years.

I told her she should. Two days later, she called me and told me that she mentioned it to her husband and he was so aroused by it that they had it out then and there. It was wild but more importantly, a slew of sharing deep fantasies flowed between the two of them. She admitted that seeing how it had mysteriously brought them closer, she wished she had done it sooner.

Sharing fantasies has its pros and cons but it does bring couples together in ways that other things can't. It's like we all know there is a hidden door to our partner's thoughts and it will always eat into us wanting to know what lies beyond. If it is not opened (or shared) there is always a deep feeling within that we cannot forge that ultimate closeness.

Granted a relationship will not necessarily suffer if you don't share them but it will move onto a different level. The dynamics in the relationship suddenly changes - trust and closeness are enhanced.

Of course to realise these fantasies is another matter altogether. Sometimes it works out while other times, it can be a recipe for disaster. Whether you want to share or realise fantasies, I think it is important to know your partner really well - on a level beyond sex - such as his/her background, ideals, thoughts and of course openness to expressing his/her sexuality. The ultimate goal should be to share as much as possible in order to build strong communication lines that will help in all aspects of the relationship.

Think about it, if you can share deep dark fantasies, secrets or such, talking about anything and everything else will get a lot easier. Talk is so underrated these days. I can assure you, your sex lives will pick up a notch when you can communicate better with your partner.

Missus Singapore out!