DON'T TRY THIS

Yes, you are basking in the affirmation of your manhood now that the missus has been knocked up. But if you ever want to have sex again, let alone take another breadth, here's a list of things you ought not even think of whispering when baby is in the oven.

10. I finished the Oreo's.
9. I sure hope your thighs are not going to stay that flabby forever.
8. I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
7. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
6. You're awfully puffy looking today.
5. Got milk?
4. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary Sheila.
3. You think they can induce labour. June is World Cup month.
2. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
1. You don't have the guts to pull that trigger.

So while congratulations are almost upon you, stay safe and stay alive.

Missus Singapore out!