WHERE FALLS THE BLAME?

Every New Year's Eve there is a hot countdown party at one of the beaches in Singapore's island resort of Sentosa. Usually it's the chance for the younger local crowd to unwind and busloads of foreigners to join in the festivities. It's all wild fun.

I was at two of these parties some years back and had to admit that it was kinda draining for me. (Is age catching up?) Anyway, at the most recent one to welcome 2010, there was some measure of controversy when a tape leaked out showing a woman enjoying herself dancing on an erected platform at one stage and minutes later, being groped by a group of men as she tried to get away.

Typical of Singaporeans, no one offered to help her.

When word (as well as a video) got out, many readers to a local forum wrote in to say she deserved it since she was showing her curves quite openly and wearing such skimpy clothes.

Sometime later, it was suggested that she was in fact not a she. Many identified her from a group of transvestites from Thailand. Others claimed she was a local. But what really took the cake was when the general consensus seemed to indicate that being a transvestite made it acceptable.

One woman in a local forum was vehemently condemning the act initially. But when she found out 'she' was actually a 'he', she did a flash U-turn and said 'he' deserved it.

So while the men cheered and insisted this 'he' deserved to be groped and was asking for it, many women are equally to blame for their views towards transvestites.

Who gives anyone the right to be treated in the manner she was? The guys were squeezing her tits, slipping their hands into her bikini bottom and it was clear from the video that she was trying to evade them but to no avail.

If we are to be a sophisticated, inclusive, understanding and tolerant society, this is certainly no way to go about it.

Woman or not, just because someone moves to arouse, or dresses to tease - it is not an open invitation to make a move on her or him. The guys are a disgrace and the women who condemn the person are equally culpable. Yes they may be different. They may feel and see things differently but isn't that what a diverse society is suppose to be? Embracing every aspect of diversity.

In terms of people on the streets, Singapore is really very much like New York, so many different colours and races spread all over the place. But in terms of accepting people - no matter what their sexuality, I have to admit that Singapore falls short - badly so.

I've many reasons to be proud for being Singaporean but this is not one of them.

Missus Singapore out!