LOVE IS A (PRODUCT OF) MANY SPLENDID THING(S)

It's the weekend again and just in case you didn't know, here in Singapore, we are set for an extended weekend due to the Chinese New Year holidays.

Most of us actually go back to work on Wednesday. So lots of time for partying this weekend. Unfortunately, judging by the number of places I'm suppose to be and not enough time to be in all of them, I've got to pick where I want to go.

It's also Valentine's weekend so doubly exciting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not so hooked up with Valentine's Day because I'm just so lucky to have a man who makes everyday and night special. I just feel that if you need a day to be reminded that you are in a relationship and have to let the significant other know how much you love him or her - then your relationship is really screwed up! That's just my view.

I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones because many of my friends' are falling like flies along the relationship highway. So I really do treasure every day I am in a happy relationship. I not one to second guess how long this will last but I'd rather revel in enjoying what I have now that worrying incessantly about how long it will actually last.

Central to this happiness, I feel, is down to four main things - mutual respect, honesty, trust and space to be who you are. When someone asks if you love your man (or woman) - very often we are quick to say yes without really considering these things. Love is not a single entity but what I like to refer to as 'the shaded area' where all these attributes intersect.

But who am I to define love? Who is really qualified to? Perhaps different folks have different expectations and defining boundaries for love. But that's just it! Unique as each of us are, we need to keep looking at those expectations, modifying them as we go along to keep the relationship fresh over time.

While time is the true test of any relationship, it is also the grain we have to move against - it's what challenges any union.

Saying you love somebody for the sake of saying it is fine but to mean it and give yourself reason to keep nurturing it with your time and effort - now that takes some doing which unfortunately, not many are prepared to do in this day and age. We are too impatient. It's a very result-oriented world and no one seems to enjoy the journey anymore.

To feel the same excitement, heart-pounding lust and warmth after over 20 years with the same man - having gone through the highs and lows and still feel the same way - is something I never thought I would be able to do.

Superficial as some of you may think, sex is a big deal for me. It always has been and always will be so my sexuality revolves around the need for continued sexual adventure and excitement - a major reason why I needed someone who can let me be myself but at the same time be my anchor. Not many men are prepared to do that since they refuse to be separated from their bad-ass Siamese twin named EGO.

Perfect relationship? I don't think there ever is such a thing. To have one, we need to know ourselves completely and know exactly what we want in our partners - which takes - you guessed it - time! Moreover, I doubt many even know these things. The best we can hope for is a healthy relationship encompassing mutual respect, honesty and trust. If you have that, I bet happiness will follow. The sex will also have the potential to be a whole lot better!

It's just a wonderful reason to be living for it. And to feel it? Well, who says you can't enjoy heaven on earth? Make love not war!

Okay, enough of mush - time to get back to some raw sex!

Happy Valentine's and Happy Chinese New Year to all those who celebrate it.

Missus Singapore out!