FOREPLAY IS SERVED!

Interesting photo sent in although I think the 'C' actually fell off! But for humour's sake, let's just suppose there really was such a cafe? What do you expect to be on the menu? I presume it would serve almost everything leading to but not including sex itself.

So it would be a kind of a tease cafe - like what many women do to men at the clubs here. I know of quite a few women who actually get off by putting their teasing skills to the test every week or so. One girl Sheena, twenty-somethingish, whom I met some years ago, used to and still does hit a few watering holes here to do just that.

She's been called all sorts of names and her behaviour has been tagged with all kinds of behavioural terms. There is always some term shrinks or counselors like to use to describe such behaviour the most common cited ones include 'low self-esteem' and 'lacks a sense of self-importance'.

Now I know this woman and she certainly doesn't lack any confidence - it's just that she has this thing which she likes to live out. Her take is that as long as no one is hurt - it's all fine.

The reason why I am singling her out is because about a year back, she was interviewed in a local newspaper and following the story, many readers wrote in to criticize her actions (apparently many Singaporeans are shrinks too!). In general, the women called her 'cheap' while many male readers thought she was - ready for this - 'lessening the integrity and reputation of other women'.

For heaven's sake, she is just doing what she wants to do and enjoys doing. No one gets hurt, no one is robbed. Many others do a lot worse things out there. If we want to be an open and sophisticated society, methinks that we have to accept all types. So guys can hit on you in pubs hoping to get a lay but women can't do the same without expecting a lay?

I feel the women who tag her 'cheap' are merely jealous that Sheena is just brave enough to do what she likes while they sit at home and give a running commentary of life beyond the four walls that replay a monotonous serial.

As for the men, I gather that they are simply frustrated by women like this who tease them and stop short of going all the way. You know - the so-called cock teasers? Oh tough!

For me, well I tease too and like it, but am usually left with very little self-control to stop. Next frame usually finds me all exhausted and sweaty - gazing at the ceiling with some unconscious and equally sweaty man lying down beside me as I rue my failure at teasing. I guess I suck at teasing (no pun intended).

I like to look at different people and their nuances as a learning experience. Life is just so much more exciting to observe others and enjoy the show. Who knows you might get to learn something in the process. But beyond extending your horizons, it is important to embrace all types as long as their actions do not smash through societal boundaries that are important to keep civility going.

So Sheena (and others like her), feel free to keep doing what you do for as long as you enjoy doing it. Hey, if you get off - that's your prerogative. Who knows, you might even be teaching our hypocritical society here to extent their levels of tolerance. While the broader boundaries may have been loosely marked out, it is timely to let people know that it is not defined by individual perceptions but by acceptance.

Missus Singapore out!