THE HIPS DO LIE

A reader sent an email bringing up an article she read in a local magazine. Some sex therapist wrote that men should look out for movements in a woman's body, especially her pelvic area, for signs that she is being aroused. She says, the fastest a woman 'grinds' against you, the more she is turned on.

This woman, who only left her name as Sandy, was rather annoyed by the article. She says that this is not quite accurate information to give to a man.

While I agree that a man should look out for a woman's body signals, how a woman 'grinds' her body against you is no indication that she is getting turned on. It's not just her body movements but eyes and moans do play a part. Also, she may be 'grinding' her body out of impatience to get the act over and done.

A quivering body, erect nipples and goosebumps - now those are more accurate signs really. And Sandy agrees. The gazing 'high' look in a woman's eyes - that's the key. If she is not comfortable with establishing eye contact, that is also a sign she is not comfortable with you. In such a case, how can she be turned on.

I've 'grinded' against men before but just to turn them on, not because I was turned on. Again, Sandy agrees. There are so many factors involved in order for a woman to get high whilst riding. Too many to even mention here.

Her peeve - "These sex therapists are all book-taught and have no idea what they are talking about at all - most of the time. It's not like they have fucked 210 men to learn how its done properly. Now I know why so many men are doing it all wrong - because they are reading too much into what these therapists are saying. If you want sex advise, turn to someone who has the experience to talk about it."

Well, the 210 mentioned is a giveaway really. Sandy! 210 men? Wow maybe you should be writing a column too! I bet more men will believe you a lot more.

But seriously, Sandy does have a point. Many sex therapists who run columns are either stating the obvious or conjuring up things based on what they read in manuals - and we all know how accurate manuals are. After all, someone who has read about riding a bicycle is never going to teach you enough compared to someone who has cycled for years with different types of bicycles.

Every woman reacts differently and as I always say, there is no one sure-fire way or one-size-fits-all sexual move. It's all about observing and responding accordingly - which is really what makes sex such an intriguing proposition and challenge for men and women. If what works for one person works for all - we won't be stimulated by sex as much now, would we.

Missus Singapore out!