OPTIMIZE YOUR SYSTEM!

It seems that everywhere you surf on the Internet these days, there are always those typical warnings on why you should maintain your computer system properly and the accompanying tips on how to improve it's running. This of course is followed by an offer to purchase a software that claims to do the job for you.

With the problems that computers seem to have, I suppose these are useful tips. Nonetheless, I've had an inspiration from being inundated by them. So to start the week off, here is my parody on keeping your system working well, obviously, with a Missus Singapore twist (in orange)!

5 Ways to Maintain a Healthy and Happy PC

5 Ways to Maintain a Healthy and Happy Sex Life 

1. Make sure your hardware is sufficient to support your operating system.
MS: Always make sure you have a tool adequately suited and sized to support your satisfaction levels.

2. Always keep your desktop clean and scan your system for errors or viruses.

MS: Maintain good hygiene at all times. 

3. Uninstall unused programs
MS: Forget old lovers and don't mention their names during sex.

4. Adjust visual effects for better performance

MS: Always look good for your partner, with or without clothes on.

5. Don’t start programs automatically

MS: Foreplay is vital for a fulfilling sexual experience, so don't rush.

Missus Singapore out!

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HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR GOOD SEX

A nurse wrote in sometime back to comment on a post. After exchanging several emails, we realised that we actually went to the same high school way back. What a pleasant coincidence.

Anyway, she is now a senior nurse clinician at the weight management department in a local public hospital. She was actually commenting on a post about women who are confident about their overweight bodies.

Here is a gist of the email she sent.

"I'll bet you that most overweight women hate how they look when they stare in the mirror. Of course to mask that, they will tell everyone how good they feel about themselves - either they have breasts that they never had, or fill up clothes better. I can tell you that they are just fooling themselves."

She adds: "How can anyone possibly in their right mind feel good that they are putting their health at a tremendous risk to cardiovascular and other health problems. Stop fooling themselves and make changes asap before its too late. More often than not, the patients we see, the women in particular, are mostly married and let themselves go. They often complain about their poor sex lives - I wonder why"

Well, I suppose many of my friends who have let themselves go seem to fit the bill but they do seem a bubbly lot really.

Thinking back, I did a survey of 270 men on what they felt about overweight women, not plump but overweight bordering on obese. It was quite an extensive survey but to extract the relevant parts - only 19 or 7% found them sexually appealing while only 13 or 5% would want to be in a relationship with one.

Okay, to me, that's just the typical superficial male's opinion. Personally, I don't mind the least how someone looks as long as she is comfortable with herself but at the back of my mind, I have to admit that I'm concerned about the health implications for them being overweight.

Sex wise - I wonder if they can give their all or get the most from sex, but perhaps they are lucky enough to find a man who has sexual leanings towards overweight women. But then again, men a fickle and after the novelty diminishes, who knows - resentment might set in.

I mean to justify your weight, there are always forums to find such people hailing how happy their are to be fat - but almost no one talks about the health implications. Get real please, before it's too late!

Missus Singapore out!

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SEX RESOLUTION #4

Here is the next resolution on the list if you intend to head down the road to great sex.

#4 - Get into shape
Yes, I know it's become a cliche but seriously, it is what it is because it works. Start off where you think you need a little boost - not on the hard parts. You can tackle those once you get a rhythm and momentum going.

Now, if you are like me (I love a good ride) you want to tone up those thigh and butt muscles. Even the stomach can feel the strain when riding if you aren't in shape. I used to feel that way. Five minutes and I could feel the stitch in my sides - yeah I know, pathetic!

When I mention riding, I'm not just talking about straddling across your man, slipping him in, and gliding about. I'm referring to hard up-down and left-right motions! Don't think making love - think hard rodeo riding!

It helps both ways. When you tone up to ride, you enjoy a longer ride and that in turn helps to work out several muscle groups.

Ever since I've begun stretching and flexibility exercises with an exercise ball, I've notice that I can ride as long as I want without feeling any adverse effects on my tummy. But more to that, exercising regularly has also increased my libido enormously.

It's two years since I've started Kegel exercises and I've become a considerably tighter fit. I used to be rather limp in there but these days, I'm happy to report that I could 'squeeze the life out of any dick' if I wanted to - words from an unsuspecting victim!

Once you get the hang of it, it can be addictive - the combining of exercise and sex into your regime. You sweat, get your endorphin release, get off and get a good sleep, your appetite improves, stress is managed... it's a domino effect that augurs well for your overall health.

What really irks me are those who are clearly overweight who claim they are happy as they are. I'm rather skeptical about them being genuinely so simply because of the host of underlying medical conditions they are subjecting themselves too. How can anyone be happy about being one's own medical time-bomb?

Get fit, lose weight, wear the sexy clothes you have always wanted to and soon you are ready to feed the libido that is buzzes within. My best suggestion is to take it slow. Don't set over-zealous goals like losing 20 pounds in a month. Baby steps is all it takes to get the momentum going.
When you feel sexy, you really want to have it more - from there, more sex translates to more workouts and more weight-loss.

Missus Singapore out!

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