THE SWEET SPICE

I absolutely love strawberries. It's up there alongside mangoes as one of my favourite fruits.

I interviewed an Australian nutritionist for an online article last week and she was telling me how important it was for one's sex life. I knew that already but the fact that the body tends to assimilate its nutrients much faster got my attention.

The seeds of the strawberry contain high levels of zinc which have often been related to sex. It's not just an important component for men but for women as well. For the males, it helps upping testosterone levels and for us women, zinc helps our bodies prepare for sex more quickly if the levels are raised. Simply put, we get into the mood faster.  

She recommends that men and women consume a handful of strawberries or even raspberries to get ready for sex.

Besides the effects of zinc, these fruits are also high in anti-oxidants which help to optimise the blood flow to the sex organs. Just a few of them will do the trick due to its low glycaemic load as compared to any other fruit. This means that they provide a sustained energy level at only a few calories. But seriously, if you are going to have a good workout in bed, you won't worry too much since you would have burnt it all up after.

I like mine plain but occasionally bring in a can of whipped cream. I have a friend who swears by having hers with peanut butter. To each his own. Just sink your teeth in them, enjoy its glorious natural taste and garner its benefits in bed.

Missus Singapore out!

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TAKING CONTROL

From my experience, I've noticed that many men want to control their women but secretly want another woman to take control of them. I cannot begin to count the number of emails from female readers who have men who control them.

But interestingly, many of these women also mentioned that when they changed their strategy in bed - taking control - they get the full attention of their partners. I don't find this out of the ordinary simply because men are like that by and large.

When men (or many women for that matter) are able to control things, boredom often sets in because they become easily distracted once the challenge of controlling their partner dissipates.

Although I feel that taking control is great, it should not be a regular thing or else, once again (you guessed it) the man will get bored with that. Spontaneity and mystery keeps them guessing and that in itself will get his attention. For how long, it really depends on you.

I'm really not one to subscribe to the idea that if there is really love, it will forever stay fresh. Hogwash! You got to work your butt off in any relationship.

Keep it exciting and keep it spicy.

Missus Singapore out! 

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LOOK GOOD FOR BED

I'm not one to don make-up all day but even if I did, I would still doll myself up once in a while for a wild time in bed.

Granted it's not all the time that I do so, I find it helps when you make an effort to look good for your man. Call it my pre-mating ritual if you like.

By showing him how much you go out of your way to please him, you tend to get him to sit up. That has worked wonders for my significant other for the past 21 years and several of my friends who have taken my humble advice have also benefited from it.

We all want good sex and sometimes we need to work for it. After all we make the men do all sorts of things before they earn the opportunity to jump into bed with us(e.g. take out the garbage, take the dog out for a walk, pick up groceries from the store), so the least we can do is give them a visual feast occasionally.

It may only be one part of keeping the fires flaming in the relationship but when there is a surprising variety, it does retain their attention.

Interestingly, a survey I read in an Australian magazine found that for 77% of 268 couples, sex is significantly 'better, wilder and more fulfilling' when the woman dolls herself up with make up and lingerie.

So you see, even us women stand to gain from it. For a little dish and dab on the face, that is good returns, isn't it?

Missus Singapore out!

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ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

After a day’s work, my partner and I are often left mood-less for sex, not tired. We want to get our sexual motors running again. Any suggestions?

MS: This is really an issue of being re-energised and getting the balance back. You feel mood-less, so you need to rev up the endorphins. I always believe the road to the best sex in your life is not a matter of the acrobatics you undertake in the bedroom. It’s the experience when the body, mind and spirit peak together.

To increase your chances of hitting those highs, you got to get out of the bedroom and clock in some exercise together, to get the circulation going, clear the mind and entice those muscles to feel like they could do with a little bedroom routine later on.

PS: Quite a number of you have asked where this column of mine appears. Well it was run for over two years in a magazine for men in Singapore. That was from 2007 or thereabouts so I don't think it's available. Anyway, it's really just a small box-type Q&A.

Missus Singapore out!

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SEX BENEFITS (POLL 16)

The jury is out. 79% have a favourable view of sex which is heartening. However, the bigger question is how many of the respondents actually are able to get it on a regular basis.

I've always found it extremely enjoyable but it is also a good way to connect with your partner. Yes, it's definitely a stress reliever but I like to also think of it as a recreational activity. You get to see and do what you don't normally do, it can be a sweaty affair, and you can live out fantasies physically and mentally which I don't think anything else is able to achieve.

While its probably right to say that the initial stage of any relationship, sex is a binding element, I think once marriage comes about, the mistake many often make it having similar expectations. That opens yourself up for disappointment because like anything new, there is always excitement and enthusiasm for the novelty but once you get the hang on it, it does get boring. So its probably wise to re-look at the role sex plays in a marriage.

Think about it. When you start out on a new sport - say tennis, you want to keep up with your coaching sessions. Thereafter, you pester friends to head to the courts on a weekly basis. Soon, it's a monthly affair, and later its a by the way sort of thing. Sex is no different.

To reinvent it and revitalise the interest, you need to commonly explore new ways to enjoy it. It doesn't have to be a regular affair but occasionally spicy enough to keep you lusting for more. Variety and spontaneity is the way to go.

Once you open up to the fact that sex should be an ever-evolving factor in any relationship, the possibilities are endless. Mindsets - that is the first thing to overcome but only if you are serious about re-injecting some excitement into your relationship.

Missus Singapore out!

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SEX RESOLUTION #2

#2 - Get out of the bedroom!

What I've found most liberating and enjoyable about sex is when there is spontaneity and the element of adventure. It spurs you on to push more boundaries. With the kids out to college for most of the day, it has given me more impetus to explore other areas of my home as sex sites. Thus, is the basis for another of my recommended sex resolutions for 2010.

The bedroom is often the place you have it out but when you change the environment, you find that you change a little too - the way you behave, the way you do it and ultimately, it brings out another side of you. While the bedroom is still great, outside the bedroom lies a host of unlikely props that you can use creatively in a variety of ways.

Somehow when you find yourself in a different environment, you get a little boost of boldness which leaves you wanting to be more adventurous. It's like you are in an out-of-bounds spot - just what you need to stir the Thelma and Louise in you.

I'm not proposing you head out to the nearest park and get laid on a bench - if you can find a clean one to begin with. But just think about spicing things up - if you want to make your sex life more exciting that is. You'll be surprised. It's usually the small things - the little adjustments that can make a big difference in your sex life.

It's like playing tennis with the same partner all the time in the same court. If you can't get another partner, hell at least find a different court to make things less predictable.

It's the same kind of excitement that runs through your blood vessels when you disappear from a friend's birthday party to have a quickie upstairs in a store-room with a guy you just met. It's about excitement and adventure.

Start things off with a sex sojourn outside the bedroom. Of course a hotel room is great but it's still essentially a bedroom. Besides your sex juices, you want to let your creative juices flow too - be inventive. No two chairs are built the same, foot stools provide great support for a doggy and if height requirements are met then table edges are ideal - to be taken frontal or from the rear. Have you ever had a standing doggy? You get the picture? Small adjustments as I mentioned.

Missus Singapore out!

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