WANK WARNING

I had a good laugh when I received this a few days back. It was sent by a 23-year old guy DJake, from Belgium, who somehow, also found it necessary to send me a photo of his tasty schlong. Tasty because it had a generous spread of whipped cream all over it.

According to him, his girlfriend got him to do it sometime back.

Hmmm....Now when a girl ask to do that, it could mean one of two things. She either likes to kill two birds with one suck (I mean stone) - have oral sex and a snack at the same time, or she is trying to add some taste to a tasty main course. Go figure.

Anyway, thanks for the photos. By any chance were you from the same University?

Missus Singapore out!

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DILDO VS BANANA

Thanks James from Canada for this hilarious cartoon. I had a good laugh. He sent it in after reading about the starter dildo post a week back.

Incidentally, its a good message that food should be EATEN and not played with. Besides, it does get rather messy. My friend who has a reputation for playing with her food would beg to differ though. But I really can't say if I'm stranded on a deserted island with only banana trees. Who knows?

Missus Singapore out!

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HEADLINE NEWS

Woman Allegedly Masturbated to Porn While Driving

ELMWOOD PLACE, Ohio - An Ohio woman was allegedly caught masturbating and watching porn while driving. Colondra Hamilton, 36, was sitting with her pants unzipped and had a sex toy in her lap when an officer pulled her over for having illegally-tinted windows, according to a Cincinnati report.

During the Aug. 15 incident, Hamilton allegedly told police she was using the toy while watching a pornographic video on her passenger's laptop computer. Hamilton is charged with driving with inappropriate alertness.

MS: Considering how coming can really make some women lose all sense of space and time, this is really dumb. I'm not sure what prompted her to do it while she was driving. I mean could have stopped at the side of the road or a deserted place for a short while couldn't she? I've been super horny before but its not like when you need to visit the little ladies room. But in truth, I suppose this is still classified as a DUI - Driving Under Inappropriacy

Missus Singapore out!

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LET'S DO MUTUAL

I read quite often how mutual masturbation is deemed as a useful way to build the intimacy between couples. If your sex lives have hit a wall, perhaps it can be helpful to jump-start it. Or if you are just off the mark with your sexual journey, I'll say fine.

To some extent, I agree. Well, for one, its safe. Secondly, its quite an experience to sit back a little and watch how a guy gets off by himself (not that I don't know!) and vice versa. Thirdly,...well there is no other reason for me.

These days, the thought of mutual masturbation translates as a wasted opportunity to get something hard where it matters. Maybe I'm just too impatient but really. A hard tool, strategic dampness and hormones all over the darn place - are you kidding me?

Some guys have expressed their desire wanting to watch me masturbate? Now again, that defeats the whole purpose of it, doesn't it. You masturbate when there's no other alternative and you want to do it in privacy, thank you very much. If a man wants to meet me just to watch me, well he can - for a fee and through a peep hole!

Missus Singapore out!

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A COMPLIMENT NOT SUBSTITUTE

Many men write in expressing their concerns after they discover that their significant other is still good friends with their vibrators. Despite the fact that they can now get a regular fix of sexual intimacy with them, it rattles them somewhat when they find out they still masturbate.

Well, it is normal guys. What is not is if she would rather masturbate than have sex with you. But here is some food for thought that would put your male egos at ease.

A 2009 American study found that women who use vibrators are more likely to report higher levels of desire, arousal, lubrication and orgasm compared to those who don't.

But even without the study, any women would tell you that. It's like getting the motor ready for the big one. Yes vibrators are great companions on those lonely nights but they are also great at sending blood to the right areas before sex.

The challenge for women is how to stop themselves from coming by masturbation because once you get it going, it's hard to stop yourself from going all the way.

For myself, it really works wonders too. I find myself wilder, more daring and willing to dive into sexual adventure.

So if she does it, think that she is doing it for something bigger. See it as a compliment to your sexual relations and not a substitute for you.

Your job however, is to deliver the goods. Otherwise, you will lose the battle with her vibrator. One way to know you are facing an uphill battle to overthrow the vibrator is when she has given it a name.

With my ex many years ago, not only did I have several dildos but named them all until I totally forgot what the hell his name was.

Missus Singapore out!

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COIN-SIZED VIBRATOR

This is claimed to be the smallest vibrator ever known - the size of a coin. All you need to do really is click a switch and slip it it. I don't know about other women but slipping something so small in down there does not make me feel comfortable.

I mean who knows what might happen in all the excitement - and it apparently boasts one powerful motor. It might get lost and who knows where it might get lodged.

My preferences for vibrators are two fold - the clit stimulators and motor-run dildos. If I had to choose, I suppose I'd prefer one that I can feel inside me ala a real tool.

I just love the added stimulation when the grooves of a dildo rub against the inside walls. Not that it adds to the intensity of the orgasm or that it helps me to cum faster but it's just the feel of it. But that's just me.

Anyway, like all techno gadgets these days, they just keep getting smaller and smaller. Anyone know of an application that turns the iPhone into a vibrator. I'm sure if it's not already out there, someone is working on it as we speak.

Missus Singapore out!

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STIMULATING BRUNCH

Just got back from a long-awaited meeting with my friend Dawn who writes a column at a local woman's magazine. It was supposed to be a brunch thingy but we had so much to talk about that by the time we were half-way through, the weekend lunch crowd began pouring into the cafe we were at.

We had lots of catching up and one of the interesting things we spoke about was on a survey that they published in a previous issue which Dawn coordinated. It was about the favourite things that women like to receive as gifts either for birthdays or special occasions. Dinners, dates and travel were not included.

I'm not sure about the exact numbers but I think it was about 300 women between the ages of 30 and 50 who were surveyed. I jotted things down so here goes.

35% - sex toys
28% - spa/facial vouchers
17% - jewelery/watches
20% - a wide range of other stuff including bags, chocolates, perfume, flowers, IT gadgets, etc.

Since this was predominantly done with the Asian cohort of women, this certainly has wide implications. But it a nutshell, it tells of two things. One - that Asian women are more aware and daring to reveal more about their sexuality. And two - for many women, toys seem to be more reliable than men!

Missus Singapore out!

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MASTURBATION KIT

How thoughtful? I received this photo from Ken from Malaysia. He suggested that this might come in handy for my cum study. But it does look like some kitchen or gardening gloves that have been repackaged. It's approved by the AMERICAN MASTURBATORS ASSOCIATION.

But for cleanliness and safety, I think this might be ideal for my study. To date I've got another 18 people volunteering. Are you people really serious? I've also got a volunteer fluffer. Glenda sent me photos and she is really hot. The best part, she has experience too!

The only problem though is that Glenda, a 29-year old antiques dealer, lives in New York!!!! Well I guess I can only send her the really long dicks - I mean really really long ones.

Thank you all for all your ideas and suggestions but I think I will keep this simple and identify one main factors - how drinking water can affect the cum load.

Missus Singapore out!

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ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Q: Why won't she masturbate in front of me as part of foreplay?

MS: It’s probably because she might feel a little self-conscious if she were to do it while you sit and watch. It is pretty normal since masturbation is by-and-large, a private indulgence. Some women actually masturbate before their partner comes over to get their juices flowing.

Has it occurred to you that maybe it could be that she simply prefers the real thing? Perhaps her not wanting to masturbate when you are before her could also be a vote-of-confidence of your sexual prowess.

Accept it, celebrate the attention she gives you and don’t complain too much. Remember this: It is not difficult these days for a woman to find a sex toy that is more dependable and satisfying than what any man has to offer.

Also, when you grow more comfortable with each other, her exhibitionist tendencies may emerge. Don't bother too much about it.

Missus Singapore out!

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SECRET DILDOS

This is a cute cartoon. It was sent quite a while back by Gordon Lester who is from the UK but now works in Jakarta as a consultant.

Hmm...I'm always suspicious about people who call themselves consultants without any vocation qualifier. There are building consultants, educational consultants, and even sex consultants like yours truly (LOL!) but somehow consultant alone sound very iffy.

Anyway, the reason I dug this up from my photo stocks was because a girlfriend of mine was telling me how she masturbates regularly. Well, nothing out of the ordinary except for the small detail of her doing it while her fiance is around, sometimes even sleeping beside her!

Okay, two things bugged me about this.

#1 - She is doing it while there is clearly the real deal next to her. (I confirmed that she didn't have sex earlier with him and that he does perform reasonably well and neither was he tired from work.

#2 - She is already doing this now - and they are not even married? Can you imagine what it will be like for them - 15, 20 years down the road, with kids and mortgages to pay?

Being the straight-forward gal that I can sometimes be, I sounded her out on my observations. On both counts, she didn't exactly know how to answer me, which to me is an answer in itself. She admits loving sex though! Duh!

They have been cohabiting for four years and their sexual frequency - once a week! Imagine - no children and yet? Granted not everyone is tuned in to sex, I asked how their relationship was in other areas.

"So, so" she reports.

Unless they sort out the sexual aspects of their relationship, I'm willing to go out on a limb here to say that it is not going to last. But that is just me. Get fucking already will you!

Missus Singapore out!

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WHY MASTURBATE? (POLL 15)

Here is the results of the poll on masturbation. I actually had a longer running one and it was about to end when the poll site suddenly decided to fold!

Nonetheless, the results are pretty consistent. Most respondents tend to cite lack of sex as the main reason why they turn to D-I-Y.

But seriously, I get lots of good quality pounding and still need to play with my toys. So now I'm really left to wonder if I need professional help. A nymphomaniac I am? Certainly not! I'm just a hypersexual woman.

Missus Singapore out!

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