ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

After a day’s work, my partner and I are often left mood-less for sex, not tired. We want to get our sexual motors running again. Any suggestions?

MS: This is really an issue of being re-energised and getting the balance back. You feel mood-less, so you need to rev up the endorphins. I always believe the road to the best sex in your life is not a matter of the acrobatics you undertake in the bedroom. It’s the experience when the body, mind and spirit peak together.

To increase your chances of hitting those highs, you got to get out of the bedroom and clock in some exercise together, to get the circulation going, clear the mind and entice those muscles to feel like they could do with a little bedroom routine later on.

PS: Quite a number of you have asked where this column of mine appears. Well it was run for over two years in a magazine for men in Singapore. That was from 2007 or thereabouts so I don't think it's available. Anyway, it's really just a small box-type Q&A.

Missus Singapore out!

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SECRET DILDOS

This is a cute cartoon. It was sent quite a while back by Gordon Lester who is from the UK but now works in Jakarta as a consultant.

Hmm...I'm always suspicious about people who call themselves consultants without any vocation qualifier. There are building consultants, educational consultants, and even sex consultants like yours truly (LOL!) but somehow consultant alone sound very iffy.

Anyway, the reason I dug this up from my photo stocks was because a girlfriend of mine was telling me how she masturbates regularly. Well, nothing out of the ordinary except for the small detail of her doing it while her fiance is around, sometimes even sleeping beside her!

Okay, two things bugged me about this.

#1 - She is doing it while there is clearly the real deal next to her. (I confirmed that she didn't have sex earlier with him and that he does perform reasonably well and neither was he tired from work.

#2 - She is already doing this now - and they are not even married? Can you imagine what it will be like for them - 15, 20 years down the road, with kids and mortgages to pay?

Being the straight-forward gal that I can sometimes be, I sounded her out on my observations. On both counts, she didn't exactly know how to answer me, which to me is an answer in itself. She admits loving sex though! Duh!

They have been cohabiting for four years and their sexual frequency - once a week! Imagine - no children and yet? Granted not everyone is tuned in to sex, I asked how their relationship was in other areas.

"So, so" she reports.

Unless they sort out the sexual aspects of their relationship, I'm willing to go out on a limb here to say that it is not going to last. But that is just me. Get fucking already will you!

Missus Singapore out!

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HOW BORING CAN IT GET?

When I saw this cartoon, it reminded me of this guy Richard whom I knew like eons ago. Anyway, it was our first time having sex with each other so understandably there was the element of excitement and anticipation hovering.

Sadly, he was not the one to go down on a woman. So that didn't put him in my good books. Then, he was really puny - I mean really! That got me all disappointed. I'd probably have more fun with a pencil. You get the idea.

And then the bummer! I didn't even know he was in me at one point. The phone rang and it was my girlfriend on the other side. Can you believe that I actually wanted to continue talking to her? I mean a gossip over sex? It was weird.

He was grunting like a hog and she could hear it from the other side. Even asked if he was any good which I told her was obvious since I insisted on carrying on our conversation.

So when he was coming, I said the same exact thing as in the cartoon. I was hoping that at least after all the disappointment he would shower me with a big load!

Yet again, the fool gave one jerk and one drop followed! There was more sweat on his body! Possibly the worse fuck ever and to make matters worse still, he had an ego the size of Jupiter. Hell, I'm embarrassed to even think about it.

Missus Singapore out!

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ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Here is another from my column in the Men's Magazine sometime back.

Q: Her bedroom shyness used to be cute and a turn-on but now it's getting a bit boring. How do I lure her out to be more expressive?

MS: I take it you mean she is coy about exposing her body fully. Many women, even those with knock-out bods do occasionally feel conscious about some self-conceived faults or inadequacies in their bodies. Unless you know her well enough, broaching the subject may backfire.

The trick is to give her confidence that she has a knock-out body (even if she doesn’t). During sex, tell her what you like about her body, how much of a turn on it is to feel her and see her in the buff, and it will gradually get her out from under the sheets. Bottom line: women love to receive compliments with or without clothes on.

Missus Singapore out!

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ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Yet another for the column I wrote in a men's magazine.

Q: Sex has become quite mechanical (position and timing wise). Any advice on how to spice things up?

A: Take turns every week to be the dominant one. This will ultimately lead to more experimentation in bed as you both try to outdo the other. The element of surprise is always exciting, whether or not you end up doing something you have done before.

Spontaneity is another thing that can erase the monotony of sex - i.e. timing and location. Catching each other off guard is a great way to inject some spice and where possible, get out of the bedroom and do it somewhere else. Of course to pull this off, you both have to be comfortable enough with each other to express your desires and fantasies openly.

Missus Singapore out!

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