DEATH OF A DILDO

I'm always excited and just can't wait to get home when I get a new sex toy. What I do however not look forward to are days like today, when one of my favourite dildos reaches its end-of-life. The eight-inch toy has lasted me almost nine years and has travelled the world with me. It's a dependable toy, well until now at least.

What I really enjoy about it is the grooves along the shaft. It's very pronounced so the sensation is out of this world. It's not as realistic looking as some of the present-day dildos but it's been flexible and durable.They just don't make them like this anymore.

I remember once when I was travelling to Spain, with it stored away in my luggage. Unfortunately, my luggage got lost. All I could think about was where my trusted friend was heading too. My heart sank. It hit me harder when I broke up with all my previous boyfriends.

Fortunately, it turned out that my bag was just misplaced. I had waited four hours at the airport but it was worth the wait. The first thing I did was to open my bag and check that it was still there. Once I got to the hotel, it was reunited without any delay.

So my dear friend, rest in peace. You have led a full life pleasing me and although there is no other that could possibly replace you, I will promise to do my utmost to find one that comes as close as possible.

Missus Singapore out!

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STARTER DILDO

Here is another product kindly sent to me by an online retailer of sex toys. There was no obligation on my part to provide any review but I just thought that I'd like to say something about it after trying it out last night.

Firstly, the packaging was really great because it was sealed tight and took some doing to get it opened. Even my trusty scissors struggled to cut through it. So in terms of hygiene, I'll grade it an A.

Now this is honestly, not something I would buy but let me explain why. I doubt veteran sex toy-users will find this ideal. The realism of it from a design point of view is rather low. The absence of a distinct head will not really hit the right ridges within. I would have liked it a little more rigid and not so bendable too, but that's just me. Also, I didn't really like the sandy rubbery feel of it.

On the flip side, this is a perfect starter dildo for those at the exploratory stages of self-pleasing. With a small head, it makes slipping in seamless. Besides, being flexible makes it easy to bend it about whilst inside of you.

But the best part and even for me, is the triple speed. Level 1 is quite a adaptable but Level 2 takes you off in no time. I don't even want to suggest Level 3, lest I be culpable for sending somebody on a one way trip to heaven.

All in all, I will rate this 5.5/10.

Missus Singapore out!

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